Gushing with eagerness;
unable to please them
wanting to be close; but pushing away

The balance between self and others
unfathomable in my mind.
Anxiety and paranoia surrounding me
whilst I attempt to feel like I belong

to something bigger; a group;
a cause. Seeking meaning and purpose
obsessing over what I see as my failures
rarely seeing my successes outside of a
gradebook.

There is no gradebook for life.